One thing that I’ve been pretty clear on with my wife is that I want to adopt. I would like to have a child that is biologically mine, sure, but I also think that there is something really worthwhile about adoption. It is a tough process, I know. I’ve heard stories of heartbreak, where people pass all the screenings and then wait years to get a call. Others get notified that their child is going to be available and then the parents change their minds. Or they bond with the child only to have to go to court and find that the judge sides with the biological parent and you have to give the child up.
But those are really worst case scenarios and I have no idea how often that even happens. If you go by tv movies, I’m sure you think it happens a lot – they make for great dramas. But I imagine real life is not quite like that. When I was in college, two of my best friends were adopted. One knew her bio parents and the other one did not. One had adopted siblings and the other one didn’t. Anyway, my point is this: their lives were made better because someone chose to adopt them. The lives of their families were also forever improved because they now had these people in it that they would not have had otherwise.
And as I said at the beginning, I get it. I understand people’s desire to pass down their genetics and have a piece of themselves live on. That is important. I’m not denying it. But sometimes life does not work out that way. Maybe you meet someone too late in life or it just doesn’t happen for one reason or another. Adoption can be a time consuming and expensive project, but so are reproductive procedures like IVF. Neither one of them comes with a complete guarantee, but adoption seems like a better choice to me – I mean, once you’re approved, there are already kids out there waiting for you. There’s no hormone shots, no surgeries, and no medical procedures. And a lot of the stuff that the agency will make you do, like having a pediatrician and a daycare and a safety plan, are all things that every parent should do anyway. I wish it was required before they let you take your kid home from the hospital. You see all those commercials about animals at shelters and your heart breaks. And then there are kids, actual babies and children and teenagers, without a family to call their own. How does that not make you want to do something about it?
I think it does not matter where we come from, but how we feel about each other. I think that if you have the love in your heart and the ability to, adopting a child is about the greatest thing you can do. Everyone wants to feel loved and like they belong somewhere. You can adopt and give that to someone. How amazing is that?